August is National Wellness Month and wellness is so much more than diet and exercise. Mental and physical health are equally important. Depression, for example, can raise your risk for heart disease or stroke, and chronic illnesses can increase the likelihood of mental health issues. Wellness is a blend of physical, mental and spiritual well‑being, so let’s include mental health in our conversations this month.
Here at Families & Youth Innovations Plus (FYI+) we believe that wellness and mental health are interconnected. Instead of focusing on one aspect of a person’s health, we focus on the big picture of their lives.
Why Talking Matters
If talking about mental health is so important, then why is it a struggle to bring it up in conversation? Some people may feel like they aren’t close enough to a person to discuss mental health; some people may feel they aren’t professionals and therefore not qualified; or some people just don’t want to hurt another person’s feelings. However, talking openly doesn’t require perfect words; it requires compassion. Checking in on someone can encourage them to seek help, and sharing your own story can model that it’s okay not to be okay.
How to Talk to a Loved One Who May Be Struggling
Reaching out can feel scary, but it can make a real difference. Here are simple steps, with examples from mental health experts:
- Pick a good time and place: Choose a quiet, private setting and avoid bringing up concerns in the middle of a crisis.
- Start from the heart: Use supportive “I” statements, like “I’ve noticed you seem down lately and wanted to check in. How are you?”.
- Ask open‑ended questions: Instead of yes/no questions, try “How have you been feeling lately with everything going on?”.
- Lead with care, not judgment: Let them know you’re there for them and gently mention what you’ve observed.
- Listen and validate: Avoid interrupting. Phrases like “That sounds really difficult” or “Thank you for sharing” show empathy.
- Avoid diagnosing or “fixing” things: You’re not a therapist; just being present is powerful.
- Offer resources: Gently suggest seeing a doctor or counselor, and share information about support lines like 988.
- Check in again: One conversation isn’t enough. Send a text or invite them for a walk to remind them they’re not alone.
Massachusetts mental health officials also recommend asking, “How can I best support you right now?” and checking in regularly. If someone isn’t ready to talk, let them know you’re still there for them. Should they mention suicidal thoughts, call or text 988 immediately.
Taking Care of Yourself While Helping Others
Supporting someone else can be draining. Remember to:
- Know your limits. You’re not a therapist; it’s okay to say when you can’t help and to take breaks. It may be helpful to resource yourself before helping others.
- Set boundaries. Decide when you’re available and stick to it.
- Get support. Talk to others, involve additional friends or family, and reach out to professionals, if needed.
- Check in with your own wellness. Use a “wellness wheel” to see which areas of your life need attention and practice self‑care.
Useful Resources
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 for free, confidential support 24/7.
- Outpatient Therapy: At FYI+, Therapy available to children, youth, adults, and families, regardless of ability to pay. The FYI+ Outpatient Team provides mental health and substance use counseling for participants of all ages. Our clinicians take a person-centered approach to treatment and use trauma-responsive therapy and other best-practice techniques.
- Youth & Family Success Centers: FYI+ is home to La Vida Project Youth Success Center and The Juntos Project Family Success Center, both dedicated to serving those needing connection to resources, supports, and services.
- FYI+ La Vida Project provides innovative, responsive, affirming, person-centered resources to youth and emerging adults in Dona Ana County, including those who identify as LGBTQ+, are system-involved, are transitioning to independent living, and are who are looking for supportive avenues for connection.
- FYI+ The Juntos Project provides parents and other caregivers a way to access resources, supports and services that promote family stability and well-being. We are able to provide assistance through our own programs and/or with connections and referrals to other agencies.
Final Thoughts
Wellness is multi‑dimensional, and mental health is a core part of it. By talking openly, whether you’re checking on a friend or sharing your own struggles, remember that it’s okay to not know everything or know the perfect thing to say. Being present and attentive will matter most. Listen with compassion, validate feelings, and connect people to support. As you celebrate Wellness Month, take time to care for your own mental wellness and encourage others to do the same.